JUST A HELLO TO MY FRIENDS AND ALL | whiitetiiger's Blog

HEY TO ALL OUT THERE IN EP HOPE THINGS AR EGOOD FOR U, I HAVE BEN HAVING A PRETTY GOOD 3 DAYS AND NOW I AM BEAT. IT IS 4:30 AM AND I HAVE ONE MORE LOAD OF LAUNDRY IN HTE DRYER. I ONLY DID TWO YEST. I DID 2 ALSO I CANT DO TWO MANY IN ONE DAY OR I WILL PAY OUT THE BUTT FOR IT TODAY I HAD TO GO TO THE SECRETARY OF STATE TO PAY FOR THE LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO IT LAST WEEK BUT FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT UNTILL I SAW THE ENVELOPE IN MY PURSE LAST NIGHT, SO I HAD TO GO TODAY AS IT WAS THE LAST DAY FOR ME IT IS REGESTERE IN MY SOON 2 B Z NAME AND HIS BIRTHDAY WAS TODAY, SO I GET MY SLEF ALL TALKED INTO IT SHOWER GET DRESSED GET IN THE CAR GO WHERE THE PLACE HAS BEEN FOR 10 YR AT LEAST AND DMAN IT IF THEY DIDNT CLOSE DOWN THAT OFFICE AND IT WAS ALMOST 4:30 AND THAT IS WHEN THEY CLOSE, I HAD NO TIME TO GET TO ANOTHER ONE AS THEY ARE ABOUT 10 OR MORE MILES AWAY, MAN I WAS BUMBED, ALL THAT 4 NOTHING SO TOMORROW I HAVE TO GO THRU THE WHOLE THNG AGAIN, BUT IT DOSNT MATTER IF I DONT FEEL GOOD ENOUGH TO GO , IT STILL IS GOING TO COST TEN BUCKS MORE. I GOT APPROVED FOR MEDICAID I ECIEVED THE LETER ON FRIDAY WHICH IS COOL NOW WHAT EVER MEDICARE DONT PAY MEDIACAID WILL PICK UP THE REST, NOW I AM WAITING ON WHAT THEY R GOING TO DO WITH ME ABOUT MY LIVING ARRANGMENTS AT WELFARE ALSO, BECAUASE SINCE HUSBAND LEFT ME I NO LONGER CAN MAKE IT HERE ALONE. MY DIABILITY CHECK IS ONLY $22 SHORT OF PAYINGREN BUT I STILL CANT MAKE IT AS I HAVE AT LEAST 500 IN BILLS A MONTH. I HAVNT APYED RENT HERE SINCE AUGUST SO IT WONT BE LONG I WIL GET LETTER FOR COURT DATE. I AM NOT UPSET OVER IT, NORMALLY I WOULD BE AN ANXIETY MESS, CRYING MY EYES OUT, AND MY MIND JUST SPINNING, BUT I GUESS THAT I HAE LEARNED THRU THE YRS ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE GONE THRU SHIT LIKE THIS B4 AND I JUST DONT HAVE THE ENERGY, AND I JUST WANT TO KEEP MYSELF IN CONTROL, IKNOW THAT THEY R GOING TO HELP THEY AHVE NO CHOICE BUT TO AS IF THEY DONT I WILL BE ON THE STREETS SOON. I AM NOT MAD AT MY HUSBAND FOR LEAVING AND NOT FEELING THE SAME FOR ME AS HE DID FOR A GOOD 6 YS, HE TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN THE WHOLE TIME, I CNAT CHANGE HIM HE WAS NOTHAPPY AND SO HE DID WHAHE  HAD TO DO, BUT HE COULD HAVE MADE SURE THAT I WAS FINANCIALLY OK, MOVED ME WHERE I COULD AFFORD OR SAVE A FEW THOUSAND FORME UNTILL I GOT ON WELFARE, THAT IS WHAT I AM MAD ABOUT THAT HE JUST SPLIT KNOWING THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT FINACIALY OR PHYSICALLY BY MYSELF BEING DIABLED IS NO DAMN FUN LE ALON NOT HAVING ANYONE AROND TO HELP U WITH THE THINGS THAT I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING WHICH IS QUITE A BI, LIKE GROCERY SHOPPING THAT IS HEL ON ME CLEANING HOUSE HAH HATS BAD, JUST ALOT THAT I CANT SO ANYMORE AND HE JUST DONT SEEM TO CARE THAT THIS WAS GOING TO GO DOWN ON ME THAT I PROBABLY WILL LOSE APARTMENT AND ALL. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF THINGS LIKE THAT, BUT SINCE HE LEFT 10 MONTHS AGO I HAVE LEARNED ALOT ABOUT HIM THATI NEVER KNEW FOR 7 YRS THINGS I DONTLIKE AND THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD BE LIKE, I GUESS WHEN THEY SAY U NEVER NO SOMEONE THEY REALLY DO MEAN IT. BUT I AM STRONG EVEN THOUGH I AM IN PAIN EVERY DAY AND SOMETIMES MMORE UNBEARABLY I AM A SURVIVOR AND HAVE BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE, AND ITS A GOOD DTHING AS MY MOTHER PUT ME THRU PURE HELL WITH HER MESSED UP LIFE SHE WAS MARRIED 5 TIMES B4 I EVEN MOVED OUT  OF THE HOUSE, SO WE MOVED ALOT AND I WENT TO 9 SCHOOLS ETC ETC... I GOT THRU ALL O FTHAT WHICH IS REALLY A LONG STORY AND IT EFFECTED MY LIFE A HOLE LOT I HAVE PROBLEMS ABOUT ALL OF IT TO THIS DAY I DO TRY TO DO THINGS BUT WHEN I DO EVEN IF I PACE MY SLEF I STILL HURT LIKE A RUN OVER DOG LIKE RIGHT NOW DAMN ALL OF MY BODY HURTS AND I CANT WAIT TO GET IN THIS BED AND TURN ON SOME HEAT AND THE BED TO VIBRATE DOWN MY WHOLE BODY, I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A CRAFTMATIC BED THAT MY HUSBAND IS PAYING FOR AS IT IS IN HIS NAME THANK GOD OR I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO APY FOR IT, SO ONE THING GOOD ABOUT HIS LEAVING HE DIDNT TAKE MY BED, I THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN PRETTY SHITTY OF HIM BUT THEN AGAIN HE HAS BEEN PRETTY SHITTY  LEAVING ME LIKE I SAID HE DID I DONT CARE IF HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND I DONT CARE ONE BIT HE CAN BE ON HIS MERRY LITTLE WAY IN HIS NEW HOME A SEMI TRUCK , NOW FO RME I COULDNT DRIVE 10 HOURS A DAY EVERY DAY OF HTE WEEK AND THEN SLEEP IN A CAB OF A SEMI EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE THAT OWULD DRIVE ME INSANE VERY QUICKLY, BUT HE IS LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE DOING WHATHE DOES SO WHAT EVER FLOATS HIS BOAT, WELL YA ALL ITS MONDAY NIGHT I HOPE TO LWHO EVER READS THIS HAS A GOOD WK/ND BE SAFE AND BE HAPPY

PEACE WHIITETIIGER