whiitetiiger's Blog

i have been up all nite and i am just like oohhh aggravated and believe it or not its cuz of being on this internete all night trying ot customize some sights and started a new sight on windows id that has taken me 2 days so far and its not done hell they have alot over here and u can add just about all u have if yr home is yahoo so its seems like it is going to be interesting, i just wanted to come on here and wish my good friend jlj happy speial day and let you know i am doing ok istill havnt heard from fia yet seems like i owuld have heard from them by now i will call tomorrow and update ya'll hen i fing out myself wha tis going on with my eviction.

HEY TO ALL OUT THERE IN EP HOPE THINGS AR EGOOD FOR U, I HAVE BEN HAVING A PRETTY GOOD 3 DAYS AND NOW I AM BEAT. IT IS 4:30 AM AND I HAVE ONE MORE LOAD OF LAUNDRY IN HTE DRYER. I ONLY DID TWO YEST. I DID 2 ALSO I CANT DO TWO MANY IN ONE DAY OR I WILL PAY OUT THE BUTT FOR IT TODAY I HAD TO GO TO THE SECRETARY OF STATE TO PAY FOR THE LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO IT LAST WEEK BUT FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT UNTILL I SAW THE ENVELOPE IN MY PURSE LAST NIGHT, SO I HAD TO GO TODAY AS IT WAS THE LAST DAY FOR ME IT IS REGESTERE IN MY SOON 2 B Z NAME AND HIS BIRTHDAY WAS TODAY, SO I GET MY SLEF ALL TALKED INTO IT SHOWER GET DRESSED GET IN THE CAR GO WHERE THE PLACE HAS BEEN FOR 10 YR AT LEAST AND DMAN IT IF THEY DIDNT CLOSE DOWN THAT OFFICE AND IT WAS ALMOST 4:30 AND THAT IS WHEN THEY CLOSE, I HAD NO TIME TO GET TO ANOTHER ONE AS THEY ARE ABOUT 10 OR MORE MILES AWAY, MAN I WAS BUMBED, ALL THAT 4 NOTHING SO TOMORROW I HAVE TO GO THRU THE WHOLE THNG AGAIN, BUT IT DOSNT MATTER IF I DONT FEEL GOOD ENOUGH TO GO , IT STILL IS GOING TO COST TEN BUCKS MORE. I GOT APPROVED FOR MEDICAID I ECIEVED THE LETER ON FRIDAY WHICH IS COOL NOW WHAT EVER MEDICARE DONT PAY MEDIACAID WILL PICK UP THE REST, NOW I AM WAITING ON WHAT THEY R GOING TO DO WITH ME ABOUT MY LIVING ARRANGMENTS AT WELFARE ALSO, BECAUASE SINCE HUSBAND LEFT ME I NO LONGER CAN MAKE IT HERE ALONE. MY DIABILITY CHECK IS ONLY $22 SHORT OF PAYINGREN BUT I STILL CANT MAKE IT AS I HAVE AT LEAST 500 IN BILLS A MONTH. I HAVNT APYED RENT HERE SINCE AUGUST SO IT WONT BE LONG I WIL GET LETTER FOR COURT DATE. I AM NOT UPSET OVER IT, NORMALLY I WOULD BE AN ANXIETY MESS, CRYING MY EYES OUT, AND MY MIND JUST SPINNING, BUT I GUESS THAT I HAE LEARNED THRU THE YRS ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE GONE THRU SHIT LIKE THIS B4 AND I JUST DONT HAVE THE ENERGY, AND I JUST WANT TO KEEP MYSELF IN CONTROL, IKNOW THAT THEY R GOING TO HELP THEY AHVE NO CHOICE BUT TO AS IF THEY DONT I WILL BE ON THE STREETS SOON. I AM NOT MAD AT MY HUSBAND FOR LEAVING AND NOT FEELING THE SAME FOR ME AS HE DID FOR A GOOD 6 YS, HE TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN THE WHOLE TIME, I CNAT CHANGE HIM HE WAS NOTHAPPY AND SO HE DID WHAHE  HAD TO DO, BUT HE COULD HAVE MADE SURE THAT I WAS FINANCIALLY OK, MOVED ME WHERE I COULD AFFORD OR SAVE A FEW THOUSAND FORME UNTILL I GOT ON WELFARE, THAT IS WHAT I AM MAD ABOUT THAT HE JUST SPLIT KNOWING THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT FINACIALY OR PHYSICALLY BY MYSELF BEING DIABLED IS NO DAMN FUN LE ALON NOT HAVING ANYONE AROND TO HELP U WITH THE THINGS THAT I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING WHICH IS QUITE A BI, LIKE GROCERY SHOPPING THAT IS HEL ON ME CLEANING HOUSE HAH HATS BAD, JUST ALOT THAT I CANT SO ANYMORE AND HE JUST DONT SEEM TO CARE THAT THIS WAS GOING TO GO DOWN ON ME THAT I PROBABLY WILL LOSE APARTMENT AND ALL. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF THINGS LIKE THAT, BUT SINCE HE LEFT 10 MONTHS AGO I HAVE LEARNED ALOT ABOUT HIM THATI NEVER KNEW FOR 7 YRS THINGS I DONTLIKE AND THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD BE LIKE, I GUESS WHEN THEY SAY U NEVER NO SOMEONE THEY REALLY DO MEAN IT. BUT I AM STRONG EVEN THOUGH I AM IN PAIN EVERY DAY AND SOMETIMES MMORE UNBEARABLY I AM A SURVIVOR AND HAVE BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE, AND ITS A GOOD DTHING AS MY MOTHER PUT ME THRU PURE HELL WITH HER MESSED UP LIFE SHE WAS MARRIED 5 TIMES B4 I EVEN MOVED OUT  OF THE HOUSE, SO WE MOVED ALOT AND I WENT TO 9 SCHOOLS ETC ETC... I GOT THRU ALL O FTHAT WHICH IS REALLY A LONG STORY AND IT EFFECTED MY LIFE A HOLE LOT I HAVE PROBLEMS ABOUT ALL OF IT TO THIS DAY I DO TRY TO DO THINGS BUT WHEN I DO EVEN IF I PACE MY SLEF I STILL HURT LIKE A RUN OVER DOG LIKE RIGHT NOW DAMN ALL OF MY BODY HURTS AND I CANT WAIT TO GET IN THIS BED AND TURN ON SOME HEAT AND THE BED TO VIBRATE DOWN MY WHOLE BODY, I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A CRAFTMATIC BED THAT MY HUSBAND IS PAYING FOR AS IT IS IN HIS NAME THANK GOD OR I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO APY FOR IT, SO ONE THING GOOD ABOUT HIS LEAVING HE DIDNT TAKE MY BED, I THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN PRETTY SHITTY OF HIM BUT THEN AGAIN HE HAS BEEN PRETTY SHITTY  LEAVING ME LIKE I SAID HE DID I DONT CARE IF HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND I DONT CARE ONE BIT HE CAN BE ON HIS MERRY LITTLE WAY IN HIS NEW HOME A SEMI TRUCK , NOW FO RME I COULDNT DRIVE 10 HOURS A DAY EVERY DAY OF HTE WEEK AND THEN SLEEP IN A CAB OF A SEMI EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE THAT OWULD DRIVE ME INSANE VERY QUICKLY, BUT HE IS LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE DOING WHATHE DOES SO WHAT EVER FLOATS HIS BOAT, WELL YA ALL ITS MONDAY NIGHT I HOPE TO LWHO EVER READS THIS HAS A GOOD WK/ND BE SAFE AND BE HAPPY

PEACE WHIITETIIGER 

I WAS THINKING TONIGHT THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS THROWN MY WAY I AM GOING TO BE STRONG AND GET THROUGH IT, IF I CANT GET UP BECAUSE I HURT SO BAD I'M NOT DOING IT, I AM NOT LETTING CLEANING MY HOUSE A # 1 PRIORITY ANY MORE I LIVE ALON AND I CAN STOP BEING EXTREME MANIAC ON HOW CLEAN IT IS LIKE I HAVE BEEN IN ALL MY YEARS, THAT IS ONE THING THAT BRINGS ME LITERALLY DOWN IN BED FOR DAYS AND FOR NOW ON I AM NOT BIG SHOPPING I WIL GET ALITTLE AT A TIME THIS 200.00 OR MORE SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES IS NOT HAPPENING ANY MORE, I AM IN TEARS EVERY TIME I DO IT AND IT TAKES ME 2 HOURS TO GET IT IN THE HOUSE AND PUT AWAY NOT TO MENTION ALL THE WALKING IN THE STORE SO LITTLE SHOPPING FOR NOW ON, I AM NOT GOING TO OVER OBSEESED OVER THIS DIVORCE MY HUSBAND HAS STARTED, I CANT TAKE IT WITH MY NERVES ANY MORE SO HE WANTS THE DIVORCE GO A HEAD I WILL FIND A WAY TO BE HAPPY WITH OUT HIM I WILL SURVIVE ANOTHER STAB IN THE BACK BY A MAN, AND MOVE ON

ALL THE STUFF THAT I SWALLOW AND DONT TELL ANYONE IS BEING EVICTED, I MYSELF HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH MY DISABILITY AND WHERE I AM GOING TO LIVE AND MY HAPPINESS, WHICH I HARDLY EVER HAVE BUT MAYBE IF I START DONG ALL I HAVE MENTIONED THINGS WILL LIGHTEN UP, THE LONGER U KEEP ALL THE SHIT INSIDE AND DONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THE WORSE OFF MY HEALTH IS GOING TO BE, AND EVEN IF IT ONLY LASTS FOR AWHILE I WILL STILL KEEP MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT AND PLOW THRU IT LIKE I AM A CHAMP, NOW THATS NOT TO SAY I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE BAD DAYS EVERY ONE DOES, BUT I AM NO LONGER DOING ANYTHING THAT KEEPS ME IN THIS DAMN BED IT HAS TAKEN ME 4 YEARS TO REALIZE THAT I AM REALLY DISABLED AND I HAVE TO CHANGE MY WAYS OF HOW I DO THINGS, NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PRAY PRAY  PRAY,

LOTS OF LOVE TO YA'LL,   PEACE TO YA, WHIITETIIGER

AFTER A WHILE YOU LEARN THE SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOLDING A HAND AND CHAINING A SOUL, AND YOU LEARN THAT LOVE DOESN'T MEAN LEANING, AND COMPANY DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN SECURITY, AND YOU LEARN THAT KISSES ARE NOT CONTRACTS, AND PRESENTS AREN'T PROMISES, AND YOU BEGIN TO ACCEPT YOUR DEFEATS WITH YOUR HEAD UP AND YOUR EYES AHEAD WITH THE GRACE OF A WOMAN NOT THE GRIEF OF A CHILD, AND YOU LEARN TO BUILD YOUR ROADS ON TODAY BECAUSE TOMORROW'S GROUND IS TOO UNCERTAIN FOR PLANS, AND FUTURES HAVE A WAY OF FALLING DOWN IN MID=FLIGHT, AND AFTER A WHILE YOU LEARN THAT EVEN THE SUNSHINE BURNS IF YOU ASK TOO MUCH-- SO PLANT YOUR OWN GARDEN, AND DECORATE YOUR SOUL INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO BRING YOU FLOWERS, AND YOU LEARN-- THAT YOU REALLY CAN ENDURE, THAT YOU REALLY ARE STRONG, AND THAT YOU REALLY DO HAVE WORTH

I SWEAR TO GOD I DONT GET NOT 2 DAYS IN A ROW WITH OUT HURTING, I SIMPLY CANT STAND THIS SHIT ANYMORE, ALL I DID WAS GO TO MEIJER TO GET MILK AND CREAMER AND TOOTHPASTE NOT MUCH MORE AND I COULD HARDLY HET IT IN THE HOUSE AND I HURT EVERYWHERE NOW. I CANT TAKE THIIS SHIT ANYMORE I CANT TAKE MORE MEDS CUZ THENI WILL RUN OUT AND I AM SO SICK OF BEING IN THAT BED OFMINE I WNAT TO BURN IT BUT ICANT DO THAT EITHER ITS A 4 TOUSAND DOLLAR CRAFTMATIC BED DAMN WISH I STILL GOT HIGH I WOULD BLAST IT OUT TONIGHT

THEY ARE COMING TO FIX MY TV THIS COMING MONDAY FOR SOME REASON I CAN NOT TURN THE DAMN THING ON EITER FROM THE CHANGER FOR TV OR THE CABLE CHANGER 42 INCH FLAT SCREEN BARAND NEW AND I CANT COME OUT TO LIVING ROOM AND WATCH IT, NOW THAT BUMBES ME OUT U SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ANDWITH IN A YR IT PULLS THAT. I HAVE IT WARANTIED UNTIL2010 BUT NOW THAT I HAV USED IT I DONT GET  HELF THE MONEY BACK WHICH COST 400 TO GET THE DAMN INSURANCE SO THERE IS 200 OUT THE DOOR. OH WELL SHIT HAPPENS I USE TO SAY AND THEN YOU DIE BUT SINCE MY MOM PASSED I NEVER SAY THAT ANYMORE IT BOTHERS ME TO SAY IT

THERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS TODAY LAST NIGHT MY SON CAME OVER TO WATCH FOOTBALL WITH ME AND I ASKED IF HE WOULD GO GET US SOMETHING TO EAT AND I WAS LOOKING 4 MY CAPITAL ONE CREDIT CARD AND COULDNT FIND AND I LOOKED BEHIND MY CHECK BOOK TO SEE IF IT WAS THERE AND I FOUND 150 BUCKS YEEEE HAAAAA. CREDIT CARD HAS TO BE REPLACED AND I HAVE TO HAVE SOME 24.95 TAKEN OFF, SO SOMEBODY GOT IT, NO BIG DEAL SAVE ME SOME MONEY FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS, LOL HUSBAND CALLS ME OTHER DAY AND SAYS I CAN ONLY SEND YOU 60 BUCKS THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK NONE, I DIDNT SAY SHIT TO HIM BUT BOY I WANTED TO TEAR HIS HEAD OFF, I NED THAT MONEY DAMN IT THEN I ASK HIM ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE UP FOR SOME OF IT AND HE SAID I DONT KNOW WE WILL C. I'M SO SICK OF HIS BULL SHIT GAMES I CANT WAIT UNTIL I GET THE STATE TO HELP ME ANDHE GETS ALL HIS SHIT OUT OF HERE AS I AM OVER HIM, BUT I AM JUST AS SWEAT AS HONEY TO HIM WHEN HE CALLS OR COMES ACK SO HE WILL STILL SEND ME THAT MNEY, I DONT CARE I DESERVE IT I AM NOT GOING TO FEEL GUILTY OVER IT THAT BASTARD NEW I WASNT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT WITH OUT HIM HERE, AND HE WALKED ON ME ANY WAY, THAT IS A PURE ASS. I SWEAR TO GOD I COULD NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE NOT EVEN AN ENEMY AND HE JUST GOES ON HIS MERRY LITTLE WAY NOT THINKING HES DONE ANYTHING WRONG AS LONG AS HE IS HAPPY HE THINKS SENDING ME HOME 150 A WEEK WHEN HE CAN IS GOOD OF HIM HAHA, IN FACT I BET HE DONT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO ME. WELL SORRY ABOUT THE BITCHEN BUT MAN I HAVE JUST HAD IT WITH IT ALL I AM SO TIRED OF HURTING PHYSICALLY, ADN THEN WHEN I LAY IN BED ALL DAY EVERY DAY I FEEL LIKE AN ASS THAT I SHOULD BE UP DOING SOMETHING, BUT NO I  LAY THERE LIKE I WORTHLESS CUZ IF I DO ANYTHING I HURT LIKE F/N HELL AND WHEN I GET UP WHEN IFEEL HALF WAY DECENT SOMETIMES I AM BACK IN BED NOT EVEN AN HOUR LATER IN PAIN. SUCKS AND I HATE IT, I BELIEVE IN GEORGE CARLIN WHEN HE SAYS LIFE'S JUST NOT GOOD FOR YOU, LOL IT WAS FUNNY WHEN HE SAID IT. WELL CHICKEN IS READY TO COME OUT OF OVEN SO MAYBE NEXT TIME I RIGHT I WNT BE IN SUCH A HEARTLESS F/N MOOD

PEACE TO YA'LL, WHIITETIIGER

I HAVE TO GO TO PAIN SPECIALIST I DO NOT LIKE GOING THERE HE INTIMIDATES ME HE NEVER STAYS IN THE ROOM MORE THAN 5 MIN. & THAT PISSES ME OFF AS I PAY ALOT OF MONEY 2 GO SEE THAT ASS.

I HAVE BEEN FIGHTITNG FO RALMOST 3 MONTHS FOR ME TO GET SOMETHING FO RME TO TAKE FOR THE FIBROMYLGIA AND HE IS JUST SO DUMB FOUNDED HE CANT FIGURE IT OUT I HAVE TRIED THRU PRES. COMPANY TO GET OFFICE TO SEND THE INFO THEY NEED TO AUTHORISE IT AND THE OFFICE JUST KEEPS MESSING AROUND NOT SENDING THE RIGHT INFO, WHEN THEY ARE THE ONES WHO DIAGNOSED ME ITS SO AGGRAVATING, AS I KNOW IF HE PUTS ME ON SOMETHING I WOILL FEEL BETTER DUH!!!!!!!!!!!.

OTHER THAN THAT THINGS ARE GOING OK, I AM PUSHING TO KEEP MYSELF IN THE RIGHT MIND I AM TRYING TO LOOK AT THIS SITUATION AS A BRAND NEW START JUST THAT THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME UPS AND DOWNS B4 IT REALLY HAPPENS BUT I THINK ONCE I GET THE HELP FROM STATE AND MEDICAID ACCEPTS ME IWILL FEEL BETTER THAN I AM THINKING SO THAT IS WHY I AM TRYING TO CHANGE MY WAY OF THINKING, THAT IS TODAY TOMORROW I WILL PROBABLY BE A WRECK LOL. I JSUT AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS THING GET THE BEST OF ME I CANT NOW THAT I HAVE WHAT FIA HUMAN SEVICES WANTSI SHOULD BE OK BUT ITS NOT GOING TO BE LKE TOMORROW THING. I DO KNOW I'M NOT LEAVING THIS APARTMENT UNTILL THEY FIGURE OUT HOW THEY ARE GOING TOHELP ME FINACIALLY, I HAVE COME TO MY SENCES A BIT AND HAVE THOUGHT, DAMN THE;Y R NOT GOING TO COME HERE AND LITERALLY PULL MY STUFF OUT OF THIS APRTMENT I HAVE ALREADY FILED FOR HELP AND I DONT THINK THAT HUMAN SERVICES WILL LET THEM DO THAT, MY NIECE STAYED IN HERE APARTMENT PACKED FOR 3 MONTHS BEFORE THEY PLACED HER SO PATIENTS IS A VIRTUE IN MY SITUATION ALONG WITH ALL OTHERS.

YA'LL HAVE A GOOD DAY, I WILL  TRY  WRITE LATER WHEN I RETURN FROM DR.S   PEACE WHIITETIIGER.

I HAVE SARTED TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO ON MY END HERE FOR MY DIVORCE. I DID NTO PAY RENT THIS MONTH AS THE ONLY WAY THAT THE STATE WILL HELP U IS IF THEY C COURT PROCEEDURES HAVE BEEN STARTED AGAINST ME, ACTUALLY MY SOON 2 B X IS THE CO-SIGNER SO HE WILL HAVE HIS CREDIT RUINED WHEN EVER HE DECIDES THAT HE DONT WANT TO LIVE IN A SEMI TRUCK THE REST OF HIS LIFE, WHICH I DOUBT HE WILL HE LOVES THAT TRUCK LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP.

I HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE, I BELIEVE HTAT THE DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES NEEDS TOPROVE THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING DOWN, THEY WNAT AN ARM & A LEG OF INFORMATION, BUT U CANT BLAME THAM I'M SURE THEY HAVE ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO TRY 2 FRAUD THEM, BUT IN MY CASE UNFORTUNATLY I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE, I NOW SINCE HIM LEAVING HAVE 2 DEPEND ON MY DISABILITY CHECK FROM US TREASURY WHICH DONT EVEN COVER RENT ANYMORE AS I HAD TO GET ALL MY INSURANCE OUT OF THEM SO MY CHECK WENT DOWN QUITE A BIT, BUT THATS OK, I HAVE TO HAVE IT, BUT TONIGHT IT HAS HIT ME LIKE A ROCK I AM GOING TO LOSE MY APARTMENT I HAVE BEEN IN FOR 7 YEARS, THAT IS THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER LIVED ANYWHERE MY WHOLE INTIRE LIFE.

I HAD TO GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS ADDRESS OUT OF HERE I HAVE PROOF 4 THAT, WE HAD TO CLOSE OUR JOINT BANKING ACCOUNT AND GET A LETTER FROM THE BANK STATING THAT HE IS NO LONGER AFFILIATED WITH THEM ANYMORE, I AM, I HAVE MY OWN CHECKING ACCOUNT THERE, THAT IS DONE. IN ABOUT ONE WEEK I WILL RECIEVE A LETTER FROM THE OWNERS OF HTIS ESTABLISHMENT AND THEN COURT PAPERS JUST THE 7 DAY NOTICE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE STATE THEY WANT IT TO WERE U HAVE A COURT DATE TO GET KICKED OUT.I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT THAT WAY & THAT IS Y I WAITED SO LONG AS I FEEL LIKE A LOSER HAVING TO DEPEND ON THE STATE ANDMY DISABILITY TO LIVE, I AM 49 IN OCTER 23, AND NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS DID I THINK THAT I WOULD B IN THIS SORT OF SITUATION, I AM GOING TO MISS MY APARTMENT ITS A REALLY NICE PLACE BUT THE HELP I AM GOING TO RECIEVE FROM THE STATE TO LIVE ITS CALLED SECTION 8 THE STATE WILL PAY UP TO 735.00 FOR YR RENT MY RENT HERE IS ONLY 600.00 BUT THE OWNERS OF ALL HIS APARTMENTS THIS COMPANY OWNS DOES NOT ACCEPT THE NEW SECTION 8 PROGRAM THAT MICHIGAN FINALLY GOT BACK AFTER 8 OR 10 YEARS OF FIGHTING FOR IT TO COME BACK AND HLEP PEOPLE WHO NEED IT, SO I AM HAPPY FOR THAT, I JUST DONT WNAT TOMOVE THAT IS WHY I AM SO UPSET.

ITS NOT THAT I HAVE TO DO ANY MOVING ON MY OWN BECAUSE THE STATE GETS PROFFESIONAL MOVERS TO COME IN PACK AND GO TO NEW PLACE AND UN PACK EVERYTHING FOR YOU ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I'M DISABLED AND CAN NOT NOT EVEN TRY 2 MOVE STUFF AROUND I WOULD HURT MYSELF NO DOUBT ABOUT IT HELL ICNAT EVEN TAKE MY TRASH OUT AND I HURT AND TO GROCERY SHOP WHICH I DID LAST NIGHT MY GOD ABOUT KILLS ME. SO I HAD MY DAY PLANNED ALL OUT I WAS GOING TO GET OUT OF BED AND STRETCH AND FIDDLE AROUND THE HOUSE. I WISH I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOT OUT OF BED, MY DISHWASHER BROKE TODAY, MY TV IN LIVING ROOM THOUSAND $$$ TV THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT I CANT GET IT TO TURN ON, AND NOW MY LAPTOP IN THE OTHER ROOM WILL NOT GO ONLINE, I SWEAR I TRY TO GET UP AND PACE MYSELF SO I DONT HURT LIKE HELL THE NEXT DAY AND IT NEVER WORKS, I EITHER GET CARRIED AWAY FROM CLEANING OR LITTLE THINGS I DIDNT PLAN ON GETTING INVOLVED IN LIKE TRYING TO GET TV TO TURN ON IN LIVING ROOM NO SUCH LUCK SO I ENDED UP PUTTING ALL BACK IN BEDROOM TO GO ON LAPTOP AS I LIKE TO WATCH TV WHILE I'M OUT HERE AND THEN LAPTOP STARTS PLAYING WITH MY HEAD, SO I GUESS I AM GOING TO FIX MY SELF A GOOD STRONG DRINK AND GO INTO BEDROOM WRITE IN DIARY AND GO TO BED.

I DONT BELIEVE I CAN MESS THAT UP LOL

ANYWAY JUST THOUGHT I WOULD DROP A NOTE IN HERE I HAVNT WRITTEN IN AWHILE, SO PEACE TO ALL,

PS AND THEN MY SPRINT NASCAR RACE WAS SUPPOSE TO START AT 7 PM AND IT WAS DELAYED FROM THE HURRICAINES, MY WHAT A DAY, ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH IS SURE AM NOT GOING TO CRY , I'M SICK OF THAT TO.

LUV, BOO

Broken                                         
        
ARRIL 4TH, 2008

Broken and shattered like glass,
Its how I feel from your words of last.
I never knew I could hurt so much,
As all I ever wanted was your true love.

Your words of love spoke so true,
I believed, i put my trust in you.
Promises made only to be broken,
My heart now is ripped wide open.


The pain I feel runs deep through me,
Because of the love high on a pedistal i once was
now i lay in a puddle of blood
Tears flow from my eyes like rain,
I don’t like this feeling of pain.
Lost and alone I feel with out you,
what is that u want me to do?

You have gone and taken your love,
Flying away like a dove.
when yr away, my heart just pounds
Still, I’m broken and on the ground.

My love for you is deep and true,
I thought the same was for you.

all is quite without u
yr loving ways, that was once so true
all i want, is to love u
yr, wife, dorna

BETTER IN TIME

It’s been the longest winter without you
I didn’t know where to turn to
See somehow I can’t forget you
After all that we’ve been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who’s there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn’t know
If you didn’t notice you mean everything
Quickly I’m learning to love again
Im gon’ be OK

Chorus
Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
And even though I really I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time

I couldn’t turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I’m dreaming don’t wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that’s the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn’t notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I’m learning to love again
Im gon’ be OK

Chorus

Since there’s no more you and me
It’s time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I’ll be fine without you
Yes I will
 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE:6/29/08 not posted yet

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough
money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something
perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD
HAVE . . .
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 
a past juicy
enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her
old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
one friend who
always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece
of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight
matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for
a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE . . .
a feeling of
control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD
KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit
a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN
SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK
AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents . . .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her
childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she
would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live
alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY
WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a
charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs
soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

GOOD MORNIG GOD!

THANK YOU FOR THE NIGHT'S REST AND FOR THIS NEW DAY. WILLL YOU ACCOMPANY ME AS I GO ON MY WAY, THINKING THROUGH MY MIND, SPEAKING THROUGH MY LIPS ,  MY  LIVING IN MY HEART, AND GUIDING MY FEET IN THE PATHS YOU WISH ME TO FOLLOW?

BLESS ME WITH ROBUST HEALTH AND THE PHYSICAL STRENGTH TO CARRY MY SHARE OF THE WORLD'S LOAD. GIVE ME A CLEAR KNOWLEDGE OF THE RIGHT AND THE COURAGE TO STAND STEADFASTLY BY MY CONVICTIONS. MAKE MY WILL STRONG, BUT LET MY VOICE AND MY TOUCH BE GENTLE. TEACH ME TO BE PATIENT AND TO BE KIND.

GRANT ME THE WISDOM TO GUIDE ONLY TO THEIR GREATEST GOOD THOSE TO WHOM I OFFER COUNSEL OR CARE. MAKE ME SO SCRUPULOUSLY HONEST THAT THE SLIGHTEST TRUST WILL NOT BE MISPLACED IF PLACED IN ME.

 KEEP ME ATTUNED TO YOUR PRESENCE IN ME. ALLOW ME IN MY LIFE  AND WORK, TO SO REFLECT THE LIGHT OF YOUR DIVINE RADIANCE THAT ALL WHOSE LIVES ARE TOUCHED BY MINE MAY BE ENRICHED BY IT.

THANK YOU GOD FOR ENDOWING ME WITH THE TALENTS, THE SKILLS, AND THE OPPERTUNITIES TO EARN EVERYTHING I NEED, PLUS SOMETHING TO SHARE  WITH THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN I.

AUTHOR,  MARY CROWE